Diss Guy Miss Guy, Vol. 41

Diss Guy: LeBron James

I don’t have strong memories of having watched Michael Jordan play basketball. He retired (for the second time) when I was 10, and I can only remember watching him play in the occasional Sunday game. Hell, my most vivid Michael Jordan memories come from watching him, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretsky fight crime on ProStars reruns. Seriously.

And so I make it a point to try and watch LeBron James play basketball whenever I can. I’m not comparing him to Michael Jordan because I care about silly debates like who would win if they played one on one, but because LeBron James is this generation’s standout player, and even if I watch 90% of his basketball games, in thirty years I’m going to regret not having watched the other 10%. His combination of a power forward’s body with a point guard’s speed and skillset is breathtaking, and who knows when we will get to see that combination again.

On Wednesday night James put up a ho hum 30/10/10/3 line on 50% shooting while playing all but six minutes and nailing two clutch baskets, one of them the game winner. The crazy thing is, by the time the postseason ends it may well not even be his best performance, that’s how good he is. Hell, it is almost expected at this point.

I encourage you though to take a step back, put down the twitter and the statistics and just watch LeBron James some time. No matter what your favorite part of basketball is—shooting, driving, passing, post defense—James is wonderful at it. Just watch him play.

–KD

Miss Guy: Mayor Ed Lee

I’m honestly not sure why elected politicians need to convince their constituencies that they’re sports fans.  I’m honestly more into my politicians being aware of more mayor-type stuff, and frankly, knowledge of sports isn’t really included on that list.  Sure, it’s cute that Barack Obama loves basketball, and a little weird that George W. Bush owned a baseball team for awhile, but beyond that, it really doesn’t get me going.  An elected official that totally nails every single reference to whatever team they’re waxing poetic about will get, at best, a warm round of applause and perhaps a pleasantly surprised crowd.

But if you get it wrong?  Off with your head, man, off with your head.  Why don’t you remember their names?

Steve Curry?  Really.  Steve Curry.

Okay. Let’s just move past the fact that Steve Curry’s getting the key to San Francisco for shooting the lights out in Oakland, and that tons of other everyday citizens are far more worthy of receiving a key to the city than a professional athlete in a different city.  Steve Curry gets plenty of accolades.  Ed Lee can reserve the (sorta weird, outmoded) civic practice of giving a key to the city to a citizen that deserves it, not a professional athlete.  That’s dumb enough.  Very dumb.

But Steve Curry?  STEVE CURRY?  I really am aghast.  Doesn’t he have people for this?  Like, a staff of interns who write stuff on notes for him so he doesn’t have to think for himself?  Doesn’t he have at least one person to remember the name of the best player of the team who may or may not be coming to his city from the other one across the Bay?  C’mon man.  Just hire some rabid fan to be the emcee.  I’ll do it for free.  If a citizen of a different city can get the key to that city, I should be able to present said key, right?

Or, I dunno, watch basketball.  Just a thought.

Anyways, Ed Lee makes me laugh.  Be yourself, Ed!  We all know you don’t watch sports.  That’s just fine.  And what’s a “Golden State mile”?

- JG

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