Fan-team relationships are strange, and no two fan-team relationships are alike. They are diverse and dramatic; often mirroring our own interpersonal relationships.
Some fans love their teams because they’ve been conditioned from birth to love them; a product of location and upbringing. Others develop relationships with teams later on in life, having roamed around before settling on the right one. And fidelity is fickle, to boot. Some fans never settle, and jump from team to team. Others fans leave teams for large periods of time, but come back after certain criteria are met.
Now, some of us form unconditional bonds of trust with our teams. We will stick with them through thick and thin, ’til death do us part. We will staunchly defend boneheaded signings, grit and bear it through endless rebuilding periods, and watch rosters turn over year after year. We know the good times will be that much sweeter because of the adversity, and that the partnership will be better off for it. And if we make it, that’ll be great.
However, some of us don’t have the time or energy to concentrate on just one team, and don’t need that boring monogamist lifestyle to stay satisfied. There are thirty teams, after all; many different fish in the sea. You might have a weekday team that you just hang out with now and again, while you save the best for the weekend. There’s benefits to dating around. There’s a lot to see out here, if you know what I mean.
At the moment, every team is single, and ready to mingle. So whether you’re a monogamist or a miscreant, never fear. The Diss has ranked the dateability of every NBA team, and posted their OKCupid profiles for you to peruse, so you can choose the best one for your liking.
The Diss presents: OKCupid, NBA style. Meet for a drink after work?