OKCupid Season Preview: Denver Nuggets (#5)

2011-12 Record38-28
2011-12 Adjusted Record47-35
2012-13 Predicted Record52-30
Season GoalBro Out with Bryce Harper

My self-summary
Hello there!

I have never done the online dating thing so this will be a first for me. Please be gentle.
I am an elite basketball team in the Western Conference. I like fast players. :) I make good money so that won’t impress me much if that’s your angle. I don’t mind taking care of my fans. I’m the type who will open doors for you and cuddle with you and win close games. I hope that doesn’t sound too ridiculous in the day and age.

I’m not into the whole one night fan thing. I’m looking for fans to travel the playoffs with. I hope that fan might be you! I’m not too picky about age, be it older or younger.

I love ice cream! Actually, I love most sweets. I work out pretty regularly so I guess I can get away with some bad eating habits. It is what it is.

I am established, ambitious, and confident.

What I’m doing with my life
Well, like I said I’m an elite basketball team in the Western Conference. I’m looking to advance within the conference. I’m gunning for the Oklahoma City Thunder!

I’m really good at
I own the night.

The first things people usually notice about me
I am told my beautiful offense and hyper-warp-speed.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: stuff like 12 Angry Men, 2001: A Space Odyssey, etc. Nothing too shallow.
I love all kinds of food. I love expensive food, it’s usually better.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
My goals and ambitions, where I am and where I am headed.

On a typical Friday night I am
With my bro, the Dallas Cowboys.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I might be too good for the NBA. I have speed, I go ten-deep, and I run the best offense in the league. Is there more to live than the NBA?

You should message me if

It is so sad that I even have to put that on here! WOW! Applications are being accepted for the following positions: season ticket holder, co-conspirator, mascot, person chef, model. Just submit your application and resume here, the management team will review it and get back with you for an interview. However if you have any previous history of geekiness then consider yourself disqualified.

Physical fitness evaluations, written examinations, polygraphs and background checks will be conducted following a successful interview so be prepared.

About Kevin Draper

Kevin “Franklin Mieuli” Draper was born and raised in Oakland, California, and loves it more than you can possibly imagine. Follow him on Twitter @TheDissNBA
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